I think the story of Mr. Escalante is very inspirational. To take the excuses out of kids and make them realize their “ganas” for something better in life is something that is still needed today. I wish that he could of came to our school and spread some of his words. The people here are school, some not all, I see them wasting their lives and just coming t school for a reason I don’t know or just to see their friends. I remember in summer school because I passed English 2 Honors with a “D”, there was this kid who never did anything. I mean he literally just came because there was nothing else to do. I also remember him reading out loud because the class was reading a story, he really couldn’t read. He didn’t know how to sound out letters and it made me kind of annoyed. I believed that if that kid had someone, a teacher perhaps, to give him some inspiration then he would truly be someone great in the future. I wish Mr. Escalante could spread his teachings and inspirations to not only the people of La Sierra High School but to students everywhere.

We Can Do It Too

So I just got done watching this video about some controversy over a stepping competition where a predominately Caucasian sorority came out on top in an African-American event.
I just have to say that this does not deal with racism at all what-so-ever.
For example, look at the events in our past where whites were in charge of the sport, golf. Was it racist to Caucasians when Tiger Woods came out on top (HA-HA! Funny considering all the media on him.) and beat the Caucasians in their game?
No.
Of course not.
To me it was a mark in history and it’s just like this stepping competition.
People, this competition has brought to my eyes a turn of tables in US as we know it. It’s one of the first things that ever intrigued me all year.
In the world of stepping, African-Americans were the ones no top, but with this competition, Caucasians came out in the finish.
Blacks were on top
Blacks were on top
Blacks were on top
Just like in the past when whites were on top, we have stepped into their world of sports and other things, making a name for race because we did not have a name, well at least not well known.
Now, the Caucasians came out on top in our world, our African-American world, making a name for them selves and showing the people that "we can do it too” spirit.
In the past and now, African-Americans had that motto too.
This event just shows that we are one world and where some races may be dominant in one area, it doesn’t mean that they will always be the dominant ones.
I’m a loser I know, but I just wanted to say what’s on my mind.
And yes, I know it’s all over the place, but do you get what I’m saying? Lol.
This is the link to watch it http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/02/ross.stepping.race/index.html

Not Normal

Okay so does someone want to tell me why I’m so weird? I blame my writer side in me for always keeping everything I want to say in my mind and all the wrong things coming out when I want to talk. Lately, I even have this sort of twitching thing that I do….man I feel embarrassed just thinking about it. I think I’m twitching from the horrible pain my wisdom teeth brought upon me from its growth though.
But anyways back to the point that I’m weird.
So there’s this hot guy who I’m on this comity with and for some reason he got in my face today. Not in the way that he’s mad at me but more in the way that he’s trying to talk to you face to face, eye to eye kind of thing. He’s very flirtatious with everyone, but it’s really him just being nice. It felt kind of nice and yet embarrassing cause the acne on my face just had to pop up to say “howdy” this week. YES I AM LIKE A WALKING ROCKY MOUNTAINS. It’s not like I like him though, I just think he’s pretty cute…..really cute.
So I have this tendency to be weird, like I said before. I can’t talk to cute guys, but I can talk to the not so cute ones, the strange ones, and girls. This is one of the reasons why I am still single. Yes, I have only had one boyfriend in my entire lifetime, but I am only seventeen and not nearly a 40 year old virgin.
People say I’m pretty and that they don’t understand how I can be single, well if that is so I will tell you why.
I am…..
• Shy
• To myself
• Not talkative unless I know you or have something to say
• Timid to the guys I may like in the future
And…..
• Not normal
The word “weird” makes me seem too weird. But hey, this is who I am. I just thought I should share this :]

"Separate Ways" Ha-Ha New Song!

If I could see into the future,
Of me and you
I’m scared
I don’t think that we’ll make it through
I’m trying hard as it is
To feel that magic
Like we once did
Seeing you happy makes me so blue
I’m crying, knowing that I am hurting you

I’ve spent days
Titled as your lover
And those days are precious to me
But I’m sorry

Now it’s time to go away
Separate ways
You can, remember my name
Know that secretly I’m hurting
But at the same time, I’m cherishing
The moments I had with you
Don’t be mad
I really loved you

It’s not you it’s really me
That connection
We had
Is not there I have searched for it
I was trying hard as it is
To feel that magic
like we once did
Are you happy knowing I feel this
I’m crying, knowing that I am hurting you

I’ve spent days
Titled as your lover
And those days are precious to me
But I’m sorry

Now it’s time to go away
Separate ways
You can, remember my name
Know that secretly I’m hurting
But at the same time, I’m cherishing
The moments I had with you
Don’t be mad
I really loved you

Loved loved
Loved you
Loved loved
Loved you
Loved loved
I sincerely loved you
Loved loved
Loved you
Loved loved
Loved you
I sincerely loved you

Now it’s time to go away
Separate ways
You can, remember my name
Know that secretly I’m hurting
But at the same time, I’m cherishing
The moments I had with you
Don’t be mad
I really loved you

Free

I’m lost. I really don’t know what I want to do right now. I want to travel the world, I want to leave right after I’m done with high school, but this whole me not having money thing is staring to piss me off!
I got accepted to four schools so far; UCR, San Francisco State, Cal State Northridge, and Mills College. All of which I applied for. UCR is near my home and it’s a top school in California, I don’t want to be far from my mother and family. But then when I visited their campus the other day, I was in awe. All until we left campus and I started to realize that I know these streets.
I DON”T WANT TO KNOW THESE STREETS.
I want to throw myself into the open and go on a journey into the unknown. I really want to go to Japan or S.Korea .
I know, I’m just talking or in this case writing it out to you guys, but I really want to be…FREE. But free isn’t something I can grasp just yet.

My Friends, My Car, The Pain

So I went to this party on Friday off of Indiana. I went with four of my friends and a friend of one of my friends; I drove. When we got to the party there were so many people from our school and so many people in general that three of my friends and the extra party wanted to sit inside the car and just chill. I pacifically told them to not take my car anywhere and they said it to my face that they wouldn’t.
So I go inside the party with my friend BabyFace and she kind of couldn’t keep up with me because she had to take care of her sister, so once I was done with the laughing gas I decided to go back in the car to hang out with my friends.
When I got to where we parked, the car wasn’t there.
Yes they took off in my car
Yes I stood out there for over an hour in the freezing cold waiting for my car to come back
Yes I did not have my phone to call any one because I left it in the car
Yes I was hit on by random guys
Yes I could not get back into the party because I would have to pay again
Yes I felt humiliated because I looked like a fool to people I know from my school as I stood on a corner
Yes later on I convinced myself that I didn’t give a damn what people thought about me
Yes the party got raided
Yes I still stood out there waiting like an idiot for my car to come back
Yes after way over an hour I finally get my car back
I snatched the keys out of the extra party’s hand and sat in my car crying my eyes out just thinking of how I could have been so betrayed by my best friends. That night was the night I cried for the first time in a while and I know why the tears wouldn’t stop even to the next day or every time I thought about it. I’m someone who holds tears back because I’m an optimistic person I don’t like to feel sad or recognize anything close to it, but when I found out that they took my car, it really hurt. For some reason I don’t care about the car, I mean I do, but it just hurts more when I think of how I left the party knowing that I couldn’t get back in just to hang with my friends.
Never in my life would I have thought that something like that could happen to me.
Now, my brother is asking for gas money to the gas I supposedly used. WTF.

My brother came home really late the night before and was knocked out forever. I was on the computer in his room while he was asleep and I saw him looking at me. I was like what? And he just snored back...lol